


Dreamcatcher

by junxouji



Series: A Painter's Symphony [2]
Category: EXO (Band), K-pop, Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe - Artists, Artist Tao, Cellist, Cellist Yifan, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-01-25
Packaged: 2018-05-16 06:16:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5817307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junxouji/pseuds/junxouji
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They are nothing alike and maybe that is where they draw their unique attraction from. Tao is a bit rough around the edges and Kris has never allowed himself to become vulnerable — but there is no doubt in anyone's mind they are <em>perfect</em> for each other flaws and all. The two explore their relationship with each other: past heartaches, what makes them happiest, and of course how to love without being swallowed with insecurities.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dreamcatcher

**Author's Note:**

> SEQUEL TO A [PAINTER'S SYMPHONY](http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/863071) — can probably be read as a stand alone fic.
> 
> Feel free to check me out on [ask.fm](http://www.ask.fm/junxouji), [livejournal](http://www.zhonqrens.livejournal.com/), [twitter](http://www.twitter.com/jongin_senpai), & [A03](http://archiveofourown.org/users/junxouji).
> 
> *  I own all property of my written works. I retain all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of my work. 

“my mind has gone winter on me, so i am without warmth. i am a chaotic blood rising between my teeth. i try to use these soft hands to shove it all back down, to keep in control, to remain in one piece, to remain whole.

 

please let me finish this year without screwing myself over, please let me get out of here will all my fingers, all my heartstrings, without ruining every friendship i have known.

 

i want to go back to when i could remember how to laugh right. i want to sleep well. i want to wake up and not feel like hell.

 

— just survive // [ r.i.d ](http://inkskinned.tumblr.com/)

  
  
 

Yifan’s find his fingers digging into his scalp. It is the dull ache that is forming in his head that thunder over him like a hurricane. It’s hard to explain in words given that he’s never been a verbal person. The uneven staccato of his heart doesn’t rest when his boyfriend looks at him with understanding in his eyes. What does he understand? That Yifan is breaking under his fingertips?

 

He breaks apart like flower petals being plucked in false hopes. A steady rhythm of “i’m okay” then stagnant “i’m not okay”s. He’s fooled himself into thinking he’s full bloom when he has been wilting all along.

 

“Let me in.” He hears Tao’s whisper in Mandarin. Tao only slips into Chinese when he’s upset and this unsettles in Yifan’s stomach.

 

Well, in retrospect, he knows why: his ex-wife would be appearing at an award gala for the orchestra considering she had always been a booster. He knows Tao is watching him and waiting for him to say something. Even after all these months alongside Tao where he’s been the happiest he has ever been she still has the power to reduce him into ashes.

 

Why do people who could care less about him have so much gravity in his life? Why can he not pull from their orbits? They seem impossible to forget yet too painful to remember -- sticking to his memories like a festering disease raging wars in his mind. Instead he falls back into the same patterns of self loathing he had been stuck in before he had Tao.

 

He doesn’t understand why occasionally his mind drifts to her. Is she happy? Does she think of him? Most importantly he questions why had she found it so easy to leave him? Her words had been all riptide - strong flows of ocean through his mind; cutting him against the rocks, leaving him abandoned in the shores of her memories.

 

“Yifan,” Tao sounds tired and it’s the realization that he has made him sound this way that shakes Yifan to the core. The man he has always promised sounding defeated because of him. He wants to choke back everything he has already said and done to wear down at Tao’s patience. He’s scared - scared Tao will run from this, from him.

 

“I’m the man you love, right? The world is full of terrible people who do terrible people. You are not foolish for choosing to believe that something exists out there that isn’t going to disappoint or hurt you - she did not ruin you. You are not stupid for letting someone in. When you love someone you become so much more beautiful and full of that infinite hope. But it’s you who has to decide when to let her go. I don’t want to be constantly compared to someone who hurt you in your past. I may fight with you but you should know I would never run from you. We can always work it out as long as you want to.”

 

Yifan feels broken - he’s done so much to tear them apart without even knowing yet here Tao is still trying to beckon Yifan to let him in. That emotion lodges itself in his throat and buries away behind his delicate ribcage. How could he ever let Tao know how fucking grateful he was?

 

After years of loving a beautiful cruel woman Yifan has been protectively building walls around himself any time he fears he might be hurt. Jessica had been his first love and that lingering rose tinted bliss hadn’t lasted long. She had been both fiercely controlling and jealous always trying to make Yifan into something he couldn’t reasonably bend himself into without breaking. She filled his fault lines with poison making them feel wider than they were; pointing out every flaw etched across his skin, and ruthless when it came to sticking her well manicured finger in his pride.

 

“I loved her Tao.” He says. “I loved her in the way a man loves a woman like she’s a last hope. When I played for her there was no more sorrow - there was just two stars colliding in a quiet galaxy. I never noticed she was falling out of love because I was still so happy. I couldn’t - or perhaps didn’t want to - see her unhappiness. The hope I had been holding onto was a lot like fear.” Tao’s hand presses against his cheek, his thumb running upwards, encouragingly.

 

“There was a patron who came to the orchestra a lot. We were good friends since we frequented the same social circles. We were really good friends I thought. He asked me a lot about things for his girlfriend. I even helped him pick out their ring - it’s only when I stumbled in on them that I realized he had been having me pick out things Jessica would like.”

 

“Oh, Yifan.” It’s soft but not pitying as Tao kisses his face and Yifan knows he has begun crying. There is some shame written on his own face as he tries to cover his hurt. “Stop keeping your wounds covered. You are human too. Please, stop drowning yourself in misery. Everything hurt, wilted, and ruined in you I want to help make better. I want you to feel love again. Love without consequences of being hurt. I cannot replace the bitter memory of your first love but I can paint you a beautiful last love.”

 

Yifan swallowed hard unable to choke back his sob. “I made myself survive, you know. I wanted to swallow it all down - forget it ever happened. I don’t want to go to the gala because of her because I know I will run into my ex-wife and my former best friend. Because everyone will know what she has done to me. They will pity me, I will hurt with bitterness, and I just don’t want to see her happy. Is that bad of me?”

 

“It’s the human part of you, Fanfan.” Tao whispers and squeezes his hand. “But you shouldn’t run from them. You are not the wrong who has done anything wrong. If anyone should cower it should be them. It’s your celebration. She has stopped you from living your life long enough. I will be by your side, Changmin, Baekhyun, Kyungsoo, and even loud mouth Chanyeol will be there. You have an army of people who would cut a bitch if they have to.” Tao ends it with a smile, wiping the remaining tears from Yifan’s eyes. “You’re a beautiful, sensitive, and talented man. You earned this. Musician of the fucking year! There is no shame of being wounded or hurt - but, you have to be able to let her go for me to fully be in your heart. Part of that is inevitably facing her.”

 

“And what if I cannot h-handle it, Tao?” His voice is weak conveying his fears. “What if seeing her hurts too much for me to hold?”

 

“I’ll hold some of that pain for you. If even then it’s too much we’ll leave. I’ll pull you out of that place and we’ll go celebrate on our own. You’ll have a great after party between my legs after all.” Tao smiles softly when Yifan blushes predictably. He leans forward pecking the rosey red. “She’s a fool.” He sounds somber again - a note of seriousness in his voice. “You are so much more than she could ever imagine.”

  
It doesn’t sound cheesy when Tao says it - it only sounds like he means every ounce of it causing Yifan to let out a few more tears but they’re not tears of sorrow: but rather, testaments of a second chance of love.


End file.
